Yeh hai Junoon......

I still remember the day where the whole family used to huddle together near the idiot box at 9.30 PM in the evenings to watch one show which used to come in DD, which itself was dubbed from Hindi to Tamil, and goes by the name “Pidivatham”- for the less educated people- I am referring to one the earliest inventions by mankind, the legendary, “Junoon”. I still love to render the title track and couple of its infamous dialogues. What was so special, one might wonder, what with the dialogues mismatched, without any grammar above all (if you had watched the tamil version of Titanic, you will understand!). I still remember the times when my PaaTi used to wait for ‘Adikaari Brothers’ to devise some plot or my mom fawning over Kitu Gidwani’s hairdo. Then there was Swabhimaan, Hum Log, Ajnabi, Samay and etc wherein the dubbing would be even worse than Junoon. I sometimes think that these dubbing artists used to have amazing creative skills, in terms of dialogues delivery. Oooh..how can I forget the nail biter Chandrakanta or the vicious Kroor Singh (I used to wonder how they constructed his costume- still wondering!!).

Amidst the pleas of my mom to not sit in front of the TV, Sunday mornings used to start with ‘Ramayan’ and ‘Mahabharata’. I used to keep count of the number of times the songs used to get repeated in the sagas and wonder when the outlined yogi with the planets circling around used to float in air was gonna drop down. It’s the best feeling I tell you… getting up late in the morning…having those weekly oil baths..with sambrani scents in the air… with your PaTTi asking you to increase the volume in the already loud TV…along with your mom’s laments to help her out in the kitchen.. J…Golden times…

Most of all, I miss watching Dekh Bhai Dekh (the insane family show), Zabaan Sambhal ke (though I am quite pleased with the original English version, ‘Mind your Language’), Chitrahaar (Man…the whole family used to wait for it), Superhit Muqabula (where I used to get confused between Manisha Koirala and Madhuri Dixit.. :P ) ….Surabi (the number of times, I used to fill in the postcards to get a free trip to Singapore..Sigh!), Turning point(I remember vaguely only…who hosted the show???), Nonstop Nonsense (aww… who didn’t used to love that bumbling german detective…)

The show I sorely miss even till date, the show which I am praying to God for a repeat telecast, the one am searching for wildly for an online version -Telematch. The Pogo show, Takeshi’s Castle reminds me badly of my childhood!! For all the kind hearted souls, who think they would want to help out a helpless hag, please..please…do guide her…As a thank you..that lucky kozhande will get yummy homemade vatha-kozhambu… :D..Endapa…cheri thaana???

Maami..Golu...

So, the Navarathri season just got over, I really thought I should give you guys a taste of Pettai Golu. So, here goes the looong list…

Golu PaDi Setting: This is one of the starting jobs my dad and mum were supposed to do- Done with a lot of fits and grumbling, they used to set it up anyway. I usually ended up as the one who had to sort out the nails and screws for the paDi joints; my sis and granny would carry it further by covering up the wooden parts with dad’s old veshTis.

Golu Bommai Setting: Cleaning up the loft and the carton boxes which are stuffed with the bommais of I dunno which era; this was one work, me and sister used to love to do. Dad used to get the boxes down, me and sis used to remove the cloth covered bommais as if there were some ancient treasure, commenting non-stop on what should go where- though I should admit that paTTi’s word was always final. My favorite bommais included the Dasavartharam set and the Chettiar-Chettichi set.

Oh and of course, the “Park” setting- getting soil from chitti’s garden, placing it on paper and sprinkling mustard seeds on it. It normally was sis’s job to keep make sure it grew during the 9 days and also clean the small little pond we made by thermocol dabbas.

Visitors and Visiting: Aah..the number of maamis visiting the house, their tales of how-grand-their-marumagal’s-golu and then its comparison with their neighbor’s was the main routine of entertainment!! Also, the goody bags along with the Vethala Paakus were always a point that was bragged about. “Ooh, you know for Golu this time, I bought some make up set; thought it would be nice to give it to the young girls who would come home”- the costlier, the fancier; the fancier, the better to brag about. Anyways, the worst part of this visiting business would be when you have to sing in front of the Golu setup. I and sis would be under pressure to practice songs taught by our paaTu maami, and re-render it in front of the hawk-eyed maamis- you see, feedbacks are usually sent to our paaTi, so we HAD to do the perfect impression of the Briha when we sang Brova-Bharama. Songs couldn’t be repeated for neighboring houses, so we had to do a preliminary shortlist which our paaTi would give a go-ahead for.

When we were younger, we were usually dressed up in costumes and sent off to get Vethala Paakus- Lord Krishna, Japanese lady, Madisaar Maami- the whole package used to so colorful. We used to gear up for these costume parties…well, all we wanted was that packet of sundal Rama maami made. :D

All said and done, I do miss these crazy aspects of Golu; Sitting here, in some corner of India, I really would love a visit, grab a potlam of sunDal and spend time with sis and home. Though, I did catch up with Ram-Leela, I do really miss home. Can’t wait for Diwali…Chennai..here I come!!!

Drona..er..Dronerrrrrrrrrr

Mistake 1: Cajoling my colleagues to make them book tickets for a movie by the name- Drona

Mistake 2: Actually making it to the movie on time in spite of losing one of the tickets at the counter

Mistake 3: Not walking out of the movie during the savior Intermission

A very very measly question to Mr./Ms. Godlie Behl (I am not too sure about the gender of the director, am confused by the name)- When you were making the movie, did you ever think of how people like us are going to stand the agony? I did try my best to get in touch her/him. Since, he/she is being stoned by people in Mumbai; I shall limit my stoning to the maami circle with a telecon

The Venerable PM: Ok.. I’ll put it in simple terms, what is the story all about??

Goldie Behl: Its good fighting over evil!! The Hero saving the world from the Asura

TVPM: What is new about it?? I actually feel like I just watched a movie that has been ripped of from Harry Potter and Mummy

GB: Wathdaa… That’s an outrageous accusation. I’ve used WFX Effects to recreate such phenomenal action sequences… Maybe you watched the movie in a tiruttu DVD…You need an eye to relish such magic

TVPM: If you are talking about the ‘Drona’ being tortured by his aunt till he was grown..sorry boss..people are already bored with Harry Potter. And the sandstorm…er.. sorry to say..you badly need a fresh creative team

GB: Aan.. All you oldies keep complaining!! Never understanding the new generation!!

TVPM: Ok!! So..is that why Jaya Bacchan (As AB’s mommy) is turned into a stone within 10 min of her intro? Any which ways..why do you guys keep giving her a sad song for welcoming her beta. I mean..she needs dialogues too.

GB: Er..Can we move on to another question? I still have other calls waiting.

TVPM: Really?? Fine.. what happened to the other characters in the story… If my memory is correct, AB had 10 dialogues in all, Priyanka Chopra had 5 ( the other 5 were just repetitions of the earlier 5), Kay Kay Menon had 15 (Thank God for that) and of course Jaya Mata having the 2 lines, and that horse of the Drona neighed 8 times… Were you ever planning on introducing someone else…?? Or was it that you ran of money for the rest of the cast??

GB: Allo..Alllo…Can’t hear you maami..No signal here….beep beep beep

TVPM: Shoot… Spineless guy..no no..he had the spine to put in money for this loser of a movie!!

Anyways… I was lost with questions by the end of the movie.. like.. Priyanka Chopra ( the bodyguard of AB) rides a really swanky car..but still fights with a sword?? You actually have some 20 min of action packed car chase in a movie where the hero is running around in search of Amrit? We also spend another 20 min during the Jaya turning into stone sequence..AB thinking all through whether to touch or not touch his mom..YAWN!!!

So..i don’t even have to get to the verdict part. Yes..the effects were aweshum..out of the world..Kay Kay Menon tried his best to justify his character…But, a horse running on top of a train just doesn’t work with me. If you guys do mind listening to this old hag, please give this a miss- Krissshhhhh was much much better!!!!!